The problem with hope

The Problem With Hope

I have a love hate relationship with hope. 

Sometimes I just hate it. I hate what it does to me. It creates a stirring in my heart and a lightness in my step. It causes me to believe in what is barely possible. It makes my heart soar when I should stay grounded in the facts. And this makes me furious. 

Furious because if my hope is dashed, then I have so much further to fall. Hope has the ability to break my heart. I hate giving power to anything that could cause so much pain. Yet I do it again and again. 

I've had seasons where I have lived off the drug of new found hope. It happens in a instance, a look or a moment with the right kind of guy and I'm there. Living in hope that this could be it. This could be my season to love and be loved. (I'm not talking about the thing other girls do where they plan the wedding and wonder what their babies will look like the moment they meet. That's a blog post for another day) I'm just talking about the quickened heart beat and the thought of "Hello, this one's not a complete mutant".* 

I am also talking about the kind of hope I have for my future. The hope to have the family and the house and the lifestyle I dream of. The hope I am called into a profession that will change the world and fulfill my every desire. 

And so I fly high. Hope becomes my drug of choice. The problem with highs is obvious. What comes up must come down right? The crash and pain from hopes dashed is a pain like no other. 

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Prov 13:12

Hope deferred has made me sick before. Physically sick. Talk to anyone who's been through a hard break up and they may say the same thing. I became so run down and lost any desire to move or  participate in the world. I had a medical illness and was checked for all sorts of diseases with blood tests and scans. It was serious business. 

I am happy to say that I have moved past this and I'm healthy with a busy social life and a zest and drive for life. But I wonder looking back why Paul would say...

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor 13:13

Why hope? When hope can tear the soul and break the heart? Why would it hold value right along side faith and love? Isn't faith enough? The bible has a lot to say about hope. 

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 41:30

"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. Psalm 33:20

Just like faith, hope has to have a purpose and direction. We are not supposed to hope in our future or our loved ones. We are not supposed to put our hope in our career or our marriage. We are supposed to put our hope in the LORD. 

When the scripture uses the word LORD it is talking about someone who is in charge. Someone who is sovereign over us. Someone we chose to put in control. 

So if I put my hope in a sovereign LORD I am saying "I trust YOU with my future my hope is YOU having it all worked out in YOU having the best possible path for me. My hope and trust is in YOUR timing." 

What does God do in return? He honours us with strength, with flight, with help and protection. When we put our hope in God we won't get weary. Our days aren't good or bad based on our situation or what we can see in the real world. What goes up doesn't necessarily have to go down when the creator is holding it in his hands. 

Waiting in hope is frustrating. It's like a really long flight on a squashy plane. You know you are going somewhere, you know that it's gonna be awesome. The pilot has promised you won't miss out because you are arriving later then other people. But the scenery has been the same for the last 5 hours (or 32 years), the air feels stale and there is a baby crying**. It's a feeling of restlessness and the need to stretch your legs. 

Hope is  believing that your are destined to arrive at some point. Faith is knowing the plane will stay in the air even though you don't understand the law of aerodynamics. And love... The kind of love I'm hoping for... That's worth the wait.... After all, love is the greatest!

Share with me your thoughts on this, is anyone brave enough to admit they've been through something similar? 

xxx

Shannon

* I do not wish to bring offence to the mutant community. I for one am a big advocate for the The X Men and everything it stands for. I would be very happy to meet and fall in love with Cyclops or Wolverine. I am of course talking about Toad and other brotherhood of evil mutants that sometimes rear their heads at Young Christian Single events for the over 30's (you know what i'm talking about) 

** It's probably one of your friends kids that you are babysitting because you don't have a date on Saturday night

The Single Factor

The Single Factor

"A couple of nights ago I tried to write a blog post on the great things about being single. I could only come up with one point. I felt so depressed that I watched an entire season of Friends," I confided to my friend Bekah over a cup of peppermint tea. 

"What was the one thing?" My friend asked. 

"I get to watch whatever I want on TV" I replied. 

Bekah is my go-to girl for all things deep and any single moments. She was a "Forever Single" girl that made it to the other side. She married the man of her dreams at 29 and is living the wedded bliss life in constant honeymoon status for the last 4 years. She dated for a year and was engaged for a year so really she hasn't been single for 6 years. But still she is my girl. She doesn't outwardly roll her eyes when I lament about things for the millionth time. She's a married woman who understands the singlehood journey. 

"Here's the thing Bek, I don't want to write about just being single because I'm more then that. It's just a single factor in my life. You understand that right?"  

"Write about that then," she said. 

"I kinda thought I would write about being single when I'm not. Like a memoir." I pause. "But to be honest I wouldn't read that as a single person."

Bek didn't say much. She has the special gift of knowing when to not say anything.  I have suddenly begun to feel very uncomfortable. I know what I have to do now. 

***************************************************************

So here it is. It's time to write about something I feel very vulnerable about. THE SINGLE FACTOR. 

I'm trying to write something that is not cynical or pitiful. If you are getting those vibes from me or for me then this article is not for you*. Move on over and read my post about icing cake. I'm attempting to be honest here however, I do make self deprecating jokes, this is just me (and my coping mechanisms.)  

But here is the thing. There are just moments where the single factor becomes extremely frustrating. Here's a list of a few moments/thoughts I've had recently: 

1. The IKEA factor. Sometimes when I shop at IKEA, I decide on the spur of the moment to buy a large furniture item. This involves me desperately looking for staff and then giving up and trying to nudge the large item on to a moving trolley without dropping it on my toes. The said item is awkwardly wheeled over to the cash register where, once payed for, I navigate it on to the escalator (where I hope that someone will hold the doors open for me). Once outside I have to beg a nice looking family to look after the item while I go find my car. I then have to attempt to reverse park, a skill i have not yet mastered. I then have to find someone to help me load the furniture in to the car. Once home, I have to get someone to help me unload the item that I now intensely hate. Putting it together is not an issue, I pride myself on being the flat pack queen but sometimes you need two people to put it together ** 
2. The Gift Factor. If I attend a couple's party/ engagement/ wedding I have to buy a whole gift. If I invite a couple to my party why do they only buy one between them? And don't even get me started on the subject if they are not living together! It's basic economics guys! 
3. The Solo Man Factor. It's sometimes really hard to "put yourself out there" because it means showing up alone to things week after week. It's hard to walk into a room and not have an anchor person that you can bounce back to if you feel insecure or can't find anyone to talk to. I'm an extroverted introvert so sometimes I am really confident and can talk to anybody but other times I completely fail at the whole having a conversation thing and this can make my outings very challenging. The drive home can be equally painful, it's just nice to have a person to debrief with. 

It's not big things like loneliness or feelings of inadequacies or wanting someone to love that get to me like you may think. I don't feel embarrassed by my current status or feel any shame or grief.  These things are taken care for by my relationship with a very real and close God who fulfils the needs of my heart.

“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.    Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.You will forget the shame of your youth    and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband—    the Lord Almighty is his name—" Isaiah 54

I truly feel that God is my provider and my protector and my needs are met emotionally. Its the practical things that get annoying. I have a million friends who are married and/or have kids and they can also say the same things about their lives, it's the little things that drive them crazy too. Especially when "the little thing" has drawn on the brand new couch. I know that this feeling of dissatisfaction is not something singles bare alone, rather we carry a different strain of the same disease. an inability to not be content in the moment. 

There are a million amazing things about being a singleton too (yes, i did think of some more). 

1. The Bed Factor. Your bed belongs completely to you. You can sleep in it whenever and however you like. Nobody except your alarm clock can make you leave it and an alarm clock is far more flexible with snooze mode then a two year old or a snoring partner. 
2. The Time Factor. You don't have to answer to anyone. You tell no one when you are leaving, where you are going or when you will be home. You don't even have to come home if you don't want to. Your time belongs entirely to yourself (except maybe your boss)
3. The Other Ikea Factor. You get to chose the furniture you want from IKEA. This is why I have the girliest bed in the world. 

Here's the crux of what I am saying. I am not worse off than anyone in a relationship. I am not better either. We are actually on an even playing field with different challenges. It's not a race. And if it was, you are not further ahead than me because you have a partner or children. We are all heading to the same direction at the same time.My journey is different to yours. But it's not unfulfilled. I am just still learning how to be content in this season, no matter how long it will last. Paul writes a sentence in the bible that inspires me to live this moment right now in joy and contentment. 

Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me  Philippians 4:11-13

With the one who strengthens me also promising to protect and guide me, how can I possibly not be content? I just need to remind myself sometimes.

Why don't you tell me about something small that makes you love the season you are in now? Let's embrace the positives yo!

Love 

Shannon
xxx



* Please do not post a "Someday you will find someone" comment. That is the exact opposite of the intention of this post. Comments like "You go girl" and "Giiiirl a man would be lucky to have yoooou" are better. Comments like 'Damn Shan, you are so witty and articulate and I'm so glad life is good" are best. 

** Gents, I think I have just discovered a perfect way to meet the love of your life. Go and stand in the heavy flat pack furniture section of Ikea. Ask ladies who seem puzzled if they would like help. Offer to wait with their furniture while they get the car. Offer to have a flat pack building party over a glass of wine and chinese food. If you don't come across as a weirdo, pervy, thief then you are in with a shot! P.S You're welcome. 
Let me know if you want me to hit you up next time I'm at IKEA ;)

The Icing On The Cake

The Icing On The Cake

I'm a self taught cake decorator. 

When I accidentally started my cake business*, it was all trial and error. I made some doozies of mistakes and so when someone approaches me to talk about their kitchen fails I can relate more then you know. In fact, growing up, I was pretty terrible in the kitchen. My parents coined the term "Shannon Flop's" for the failed baking that I achieved. Oh don't be sad for me, my therapist says I'm making great progress in this area. **

So in the spirit of helping a sister (or brother) out, I thought I would post some of the tips I use to ice "perfect" cake. 

Firstly, just like a house (and your face 2am on a Saturday night), if you don't build a good foundation, everything starts to crumble. 

1. The Perfect Buttercream Icing

• 500gms of soft icing sugar
• 500gms butter at room temperature (not marg or not softened butter, if it doesn't set in the fridge, your cake wont set) 
• A splash of thickened or whipping cream (a tablespoon or 2)
• Flavouring/ essence
• Food colouring

1) Whip the butter using the whipping tool on your mix master until its all fluffy and add the cream. 

2) Add the icing sugar one cup at a time until it is all all mixed though. It should be fluffy and creamy and have the type of consistency that makes you want to bury your head in it. 

3) Add your colours and flavours. Gel colouring is the best because you use less and reduce the risk of watering down the icing and changing the consistency.

2. Cutting the cake

A flat surface is important. I picked up an adjustable wire cake slicer from Wheel and Barrow for about $6. I use it to slice off the curved part of the cake, slice the cake into layers and quite often I will flip the cake over to use the bottom of the cake as the top. You want the top of your cake as flat as as the Fresh prince's hair cut. 

3. Icing the cake 

I always use a piping bag to ice between layers. this way the icing will be nice and thick and add height to the cake, it also stops the crumbs being picked up in your icing. If the outside colour of the cake is a different colour then the filling then I make sure the outer rim of the cake is piped the colour of the outside of the cake. the cake pictured below has caramel filling and a white outer layer

Happy baking Scandilovers

I would love to hear about your worst kitchen fails. comment below or on my Instagram page  @scandicakes 

xxx
Shannon

*I was just showing off what I was making for friends and family on instagram and suddenly I started getting real orders
** Straight after writing this, I had 2 cakes crumble in my hands because I took them out of their pans too early. Rookie mistake.

A Scandi (less) Life

This year I am trying on a simple life. A Scandi-Life. 

I have long been obsessed with Scandinavian Design. 

"Scandinavian design is a term to represent a design movement characterised by simplicity, minimalism and functionality"- My mate Wiki

I love the clean white lines, the textures that create the warmth and sense of peace it evokes. The idea that less is more. That beauty isn't in stuff but in the space around it too. The best part about Scandi style is it encourages repurposed objects and the idea of affordability in design (IKEA anyone?)

When I started my cake business I wanted to have the same philosophy, simple designs with the functionality of being able to eat it. (okay, I will admit that my cakes aren't all functional...you can't eat the flowers). but that was the original idea....

 

psst...find my cakes at @scandicakes on Instagram.

The thing is, the more I have studied this design theory, the more I've realised how much my life is not Scandi. My life is layers upon layers of complications. I make it even more complicated by having a consumerist lifestyle where I collect clutter and put value on material things. I buy things I won't use to sit on a shelf yet I fail to spend money on quality things I could use again and again. I over complicate simple tasks like getting ready in the morning and I fail to see value in practical things that will bring quality to my whole life (Exercise, I'm talking about you buddy). So I've decided to put myself on a complication detox. 

" A Simple life is not seeing how little we can get by with - that's poverty - but how efficiently we can put first things first... when you are clear about your purpose and your priorities, you can painlessly discard whatever does not support these, whether it's clutter in your cabinets or commitments on your calendar" Victoria Moran

My 3 step plan to a Scandi- life. 

1. Simplicity

2. Functionality

3. Affordability

1. Simplicity/minimalism- 

Simple foods- If I'm going to uncomplicate my life, then I need to uncomplicate my body. I'm a big believer in eating the way our grandparents or great grandparents ate. 

Food shouldn't come in a box through a hole in the wall. It shouldn't be made from 10 or more ingredients mixed together with anti-caking agents and additives and preservatives. It should come looking the same way it did when it was sent from the farm, or picked from the garden. fresh and clean. 

I believe this but do I live it? No! My busy life means that I have no time to shop or cook. so instead of a healthy trip down to the farmers market it's a shameful trip to Macca's for a burger I don't even like, chips that a cold and a black fizzy drink of death. This has to change. 

I pledge to cook my food from scratch and prep so I'm not making hasty decisions fuelled by the hunger monster.

2. Functionality- 

What have I been designed for? What is my purpose? Do my actions serve a purpose? Am I pursuing my purpose? Heavy questions right? Let me break it down for you.
Have you ever spent the whole day trying to complete a task and feel at the end of the day that you have made no traction at all.? It can be such a disheartening thing to see the sun is starting to set and there is no more daylight hours to get the job done. 
Imagine this is your life... oh wait, it's mine. When I have spent the day at work doing other people's jobs or fussing around with the small things that really don't matter, time is taken away from me doing what my purpose for being there is. It has caused me to lose my functionality. 
It's the same with life. If I waste too much time on things that don't matter, like catching up to the last season of Greys Anatomy or surfing You Tube, then I have no precious time to do what I am called for. 
I'm still figuring out my whole purpose, and I think that is sort of the meaning of life.... to always be figuring it out... but this is what I know my purpose is so far: 

• To create. I have this consistent need in me to create something out of the little I have. This means that is order to function at my best I need to spend time honing my skills in cake decorating, writing, cooking, and painting etc... To put into the physical what is swimming around in my imagination. 
• To worship God and to lead others into his presence. This means it is my job to work on my craft, to attend practices and to spend time with God to remain fresh.
• To love on people. This means that I need to make people a priority in my life. I have neglected some friends in the worst way because of my constant business of meaningless tasks. 

I will ask myself this: Does it serve a purpose? Is it my purpose and calling? Then no, I don't need to do it. 

I pledge to cut down on meaningless empty tasks and instead fill my life with purpose and functionality. 

3. Affordability-

My parents and my brothers will a test to the fact that I am the greatest spender in the world and the worlds worst saver. 

When I was about 17 my parents went away on holiday leaving me and my 2 brothers to fend for ourselves for a week. I was given the money for groceries and a list of what to buy for meals that week. I prided myself on being a great bargain shopper and was very able to purchase what was needed with $50 spare. A rational person might stop there, take the money home for emergency pizza deliveries or even split up the proceeds with the brothers. Not this spendy little spender. I took out my calendar and went straight to the junk food aisle where I calculated to the dollar every last piece of chocolate, chips and the biggest bucket of ice-cream you ever did see. I was unprepared to leave the shop without every last dollar being spent. 

And this has been my life pattern for the last 15 years. Spend like its the apocalypse and zombies are allergic to icecream!!!!

I can't believe that little ol' me has somewhat turned this terrible pattern around to find myself debt free and on my way to buying a house. After signing away my name for thousands and thousands of dollars for what is essentially brick, mortar on top of a sandpit, I'm starting to realise the value in the big spend rather then the millions of little things spend. 

This year I pledge to buy only things I need to function. I pledge to save and to live an affordable life. (Lord help me) 

"A pretentious, showy life is an empty life; a plain and simple life is full of life" -Proverbs 13: 7 The Message - The Bible. 

What is your plan for a Scandi-life?