An incomplete guide to being a kickass single

I know, I know, everyone has been asking and quite frankly, I'm sick of my email inbox being full of the same inane question... "How do you do it?". 
So in the interest of keeping my fans happy, I've written down a few little things that I've learnt to be the most kickass single going around: 

1. Be content in your own company.

Being single is about being a party of one..  emphasis on the word party. You are enough of a party on your own. You don't need anyone to fulfill you. Alone, however doesn't have to be lonely. Alone can mean peace, quiet and a sureness of company. It's really important to enjoy your own company. You, after all, are going to be around for the rest of your life, you might as well like yourself.

2. Travel alone.

I traveled overseas for the first time this year. I made an impulsive decision to book a flight. I didn't have to check that it matched anyone else's schedule. I booked and went. I saw everything I wanted to see, I did everything I wanted to do. 

I spent a lot of time at airports thinking about where I was in life and who I wanted to be. It was a peaceful way to travel and be very present in the moment. 

It also tested my courage and resolve. You never know how brave you are until you have to face finding food when you can't understand the menu or catching an uber when you realise they are illegal in that country or eating a meal called "rats tail noodles" in a market, as actual rats ran past you stealing food off idol shrines. 

3. Test your limits, make opportunities happen.

I've decided that I have a new food philosophy: I will try anything once as long as it is ethically and hygienically okay in my mind. This saw me sitting on a stool outside a durian stand eating something that tasted like rotten mangos, raw onion soup covered in melted plastic cheese. It wasn't the greatest taste experience but I didn't die, in fact I felt empowered! I tried something new and I was brave and it resulted in laughs and something crossed off the list.

I like to think of every experience in life being a giant to-do list. When I try something new I can cross it off and never do it again or highlight it and add it to my "to do again and again" list. When I think about all the different experiences in the world that I have yet to do, all the new food that could become my favourite, well it's just damn exciting! stop letting fear of the unknown get in the way of life. 

4. Celebrate yourself. 

I have a dear friend who's husband had a stroke after 20 years of marriage. His stroke caused major parts of his personality, including his ability to consider others or have empathy. After 2 years of recovery, my friend has realised that he will probably never think to celebrate her birthday or buy her a gift again. A sad thing to lose. but it doesn't mean she is of any less value because someone else won't think to make it special. 

I spoke to her about what I have done when I felt that there was no special loved one to buy me a gift. I bought one for myself. For my 21st, I bought myself a nose piercing. This year I took myself to KL. I sometimes throw my own parties and demand that my friends celebrate me. Why? Because I'm worth celebrating and sometimes it's my job to remind people of this! I refuse to place my worth in what people buy for me. Having said that, when friends have bought me things or surprise celebrated me it has literally blown my mind. I am a gifts person after all! 

5. Flirt. 

Eek. This is something I'm not great at. In fact I'm quite terrible at it. I was raised in the "I kissed dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris era of church youth groups. As a result I've alway found it hard to be normal with guys and even more difficult to actually show my genuine interest in a special guy. But you know what, flirting with unattached people is not only not wrong, it's totally right. This is the one time in your life where you can bat your eyelashes and swish your hair because one day you won't (or shouldn't) be able to anymore. Have fun being single. Work those eyelashes baby. 

6. Turn up. 

You know what I hate? Attending events alone. I get ready, I arrive alone, I search for someone, anyone I know and I try to mingle in to the crowd. It's hard. I don't speak to new people easily and I'm on tenterhooks until my anchor person arrives. An anchor person is someone that I can talk with and know that the conversation will be good. From that safe place I can bounce around the party, when things get awkward or I run out of things to say, I can go back to my anchor. What couples don't realise is that their anchor person travels with them to the party. They arrive together and leave together. It's a little harder for us singles. 

But since when did difficult situations stop us from living? I've mentioned it before but I will say it again. Turning up sometimes means putting our own agenda on the line to celebrate or honour someone else. 

As a single person I rarely have to think about anybody else but myself. I'm often lead by my emotions rather than my obligations. If I don't want to do something, I don't. But this shouldn't lead the way I interact with those I love. Being a kickass single shouldn't mean being a selfish single... Not all the time anyway. 

7. Have a secret single behaviour. 

An old colleague of mine used to talk about Secret Single Behaviours she would do at home when her partner was on FIFO. I can't remember exactly what they were but I think they involved pyjamas and movie marathons. 

SSB is the things you do in secret. Things that would be considered terribly wasteful, disgusting or plain weird. Being single, living alone or having plenty of alone time is a blessing. Doing anything you want whilst wearing underwear, fluffy socks and a shower cap on your head (coconut oil and avocado hair mask) is the icing on the cake. So eat out of the containers, overdose on episodes of Escape to the Country, crank the 90's music and put on a concert for your dirty dishes. 

I've not nailed most of these but I am trying. and that's what it's about right?
I think at the end of the day, being a kickass single is about being a brave and content person right now. After all, if you can't be brave and content now, will you ever really be? 

But before you go, be truly brave, tell me your Secret Single Behaviour! 

5 reasons being single shouldn't be like backpacking through Europe.

Why being single can be like backpacking through Europe

"You know some singles live their life like they are backpacking through Europe," my housemate said to me last night. 

"Well that sounds like a fun way to live" I replied. 

"No!" She exclaimed, "it's a terrible way to live, you want to backpack for 6 months, not 10 years " 

She has a valid point. 

So firstly, how is backpacking through Europe anything like being single? It's simple really, many single people live as if they are in a state of "in-between" I touched briefly on this phenomenon in a previous blog That's it I'm done waiting. 

Some single people live as if they are in a holding pattern on their life. They grow up (sort of), they move out (seriously, you need to move out) and then they wait. They don't put down roots or make long term goals because they are factoring in the great unknown, the what if, the beginning of their lives has not started. 

But here's the thing. Life has already begun and you are putting things, important things on the back burner waiting for someone to come along to help carry the weight of that responsibility. Is your life a life of the temporary waiting for the permanence of home life and family to start?

This is why you should unpack the backpack and settle in one place.

1) It's hard to make a genuine contribution to the world around you

When you are travelling from one place to another it is hard to actually make a difference in a community. You arrive, meet the locals, form fast friendships built on surface level interest but there are no strong commitments to each other as friends. You don't go beyond the surface level of friendship and you don't actually get to the heart of somebody. You don't connect in a real or genuine way. What's the point, you may be gone tomorrow?

This is how some of us treat our friendships and our lives. I have spoken to women who truly believe that their "ministry" in life or their "calling" and purpose is to work in partnership with their husbands that for the present, do not exist. So instead of contributing to their friendships in meaningful ways they drift from one friendship to another and only have surface level relationships. The moment things get hard they move on. Why fight for something permanent when your life has such a sense of temporary about it? The fallout is that people miss the impact of having the absolute wonder of the real "you" in their lives. Your perspective, your knowledge, your God given skill set could actually make a real difference to your sphere of influence. You just have to invest.

Likewise, you may work but you don't make a genuine contribution to the workplace. You will be gone soon so it doesn't matter if you put in the hard yards and pull your weight. Come next year, no one will remember you anyway. 

I have to admit that this is something I struggle with. Growing up I was asked what I wanted to "become" referring to the career path I would take. My choices bumped around from actress to makeup artist to social worker but truthfully I assumed that I would work until I had children then my major role would be mother and wife and work would be secondary to raising a family. I still know that this is in some way my calling and desire, but I can’t deny the fact that for now I am a career woman. And so I have to contribute to my workplace beyond what is expected and make the most of my work life.  

Thirdly, make a contribution to a vision or a calling beyond yourself. If you are part of a church, then volunteer, contribute as much as you can while you have the time to. Yes, you work full time and you are now focussing on making a career thanks to my last point. Yet you still will have more free time than the average parent. You don’t have to find a baby sitter to go early to a service or attend a meeting at night. You still can have your rejuvenating breakfasts down at the local café on a Saturday morning. But why don’t you consider making a genuine difference to a cause too. Connect yourself to a higher purpose then your own life.

2) You can't settle, there is always the next big thing around the corner

It has to be said that someone who would chose to backpack around Europe must be a romantic and an idealist. You would have to be someone who has a dream and a vision and enjoy the idea of the wanderer. However, this sense of wanderlust can also be driven from the inability to ever be satisfied or settle. Why would you be satisfied with Rome when you know Paris is the next stop, Paris could be better right?

"What's wrong with that?" you cry! Advertising campaigns and our Instagram's are covered with quotes declaring that one should never settle, you should always be on the pursuit of more, that settling down is for the fearful.

Firstly, advertising campaigns are run by people who need for you to not be satisfied with life now or ever. The very idea of consumerism is that you must buy, you must consume you must be forever finding the better option. Does this make you happy when you get the new thing? No, it just makes you want more. When I went to IKEA to get my new table last week was I satisfied? No because during my trip I saw some amazing armchairs that would look incredible in my life, err… I mean house.

When you aren't able to settle in life then how are you supposed to be able to find a life partner? If you are always after the better thing, then that amazing girl may just pass you by because you are too scared that the next girl that comes along might be better. Let's just drop the whole "ultimate package" idea right here too. You are not buying a brand new lounge room set from Super A-Mart. Give up looking for the ultimate package and start looking for someone you have a connection to first.  

I think in fact that settling is for the brave. How amazing to say "I don't know what the future holds but I'm making this decision and I'm sticking to it"?

3)You carry your worldly possessions with you. 

When you carry around your life in a backpack it can be a very heavy and long walk. My housemate loves hiking, I picked up her hiking bag this morning. Let me tell you, that thing was heavy, about 15 kg's of weight! When you travel without anywhere to house your baggage, life becomes a painful and slow journey.

I have many single friends in my life. Some quite obviously carry a lot of baggage.

Baggage on a single person quite often looks like cynicism. Cynicism at anyone's attempts for set ups. Don't even try to get them to put their hand up anywhere to admit they are single. Don't talk to them about singles events or be sure to hear groans and see rolling of eyes. They complain there is absolutely no one of the opposite gender "out there" and all the good ones are taken. They carry past hurts with them and it is very obvious to the world around them.

I am saying "they" but I should be saying "we" as I am as big a culprit as any. I have allowed past hurts and experiences of rejection ride on my back and slow me down. The baggage quite often is disguised as protection; we carry it so that we don't feel disappointed again. Some of the baggage we have carried around since we were very young. some of the baggage is childhood hurts or school yard betrayal. We have formed views of ourselves as unlovable or inadequate and so have packed a bag full of gadgets and gizmos we hope will make up for our lack. We have also packed a tent in there so we can crawl in it and hide if it all gets too scary.

Not all the burdens in our life are easy to get rid of. I have found that some burdens are released when we talk deep and meaningfully with our friends about genuine issues in our lives (back to point 1). I have found that prayer and prayer ministry with others can be a powerful tool and I have also found that some burdens, particularly to do with childhood or very painful issues need counselling. How blessed we are to live in an age where counselling and visiting psychologists is not something to be embarrassed about but something that shows how dedicated you are to living a baggage free life.

If you are alive and in your late twenties, early thirties then there is no way you have gone this far in life without some heartbreak or baggage. If you haven't already, why don't you start unpacking your bag and dealing with these issues?

4) You start to become weird

This is pretty self-explanatory. Picture someone who has been backpacking for 6 months and you might imagine someone with a sock tan, wear a bandana. Picture someone who has been backpacking for 6 years and you imagine someone who looks like Tom Hanks at the end of Castaway with long hair and beard, sun burnt to a crisp, dirty and pretty smelly... and that's just the women.

The thing is, something like backpacking changes you long term. Your perceptions change, you view the world differently and well, you could come across as just plain weird.

I'm just going to put it out there, there are some singles who are just plain weird. They put out a weird vibe and they wonder why the other gender run a mile. You might be one of these weird people and don’t know it so I will just put it out there. So let’s set some ground rules about how you can infiltrate back into mainstream now that you have taken your backpack off and decided to no longer travel. (Hey man, you probably, like me, have some anxiety and confidence issues and don’t really want to eat your next lover’s first born.) These are based on my observations mostly of guy’s behaviour but I will try to also cover the weird girls where possible. If you do any of the following you are a weird single and you are going to struggle to find someone with the vibe you are putting out there.*

1. Don’t hover and stare. Just because you aren’t talking and we aren’t making eye contact doesn’t mean you are invisible, we are aware of your presence. You are not wearing an invisibility cloak. Say hi. Join in the conversation. Nod and laugh in the appropriate moments. If you get stuck ask a question.
2. Bathe, take care of yourself, dress nicely, smell nice, get a modern haircut.
3. Don’t be a secret harasser. You know who you are! Facebook messaging girls or guys again and again. Read the subtle clues. If they are not responding it is not because you need to try harder. I’ve known very decent guys who have developed reputations of being secret harassers.  
4. Don’t be a public harasser. The very last thing I want when I walk into a room is to be shouted at unless it’s a friend who is inviting me over to chat. You know that thing builders are known for, that happens sometimes when groups of boys are gathered around each other even at church. It’s a chicken’s way of saying “Pay attention to me while I assert my male dominance in this pack of men”. No, come over to me and say hi. Shouting out for no reason is weird.
5. Let’s be friends. Every relationship should be built on friendship anyway right?  It is very disappointing when people are nice to you until they realise you are not interested in anything romantic. It is never a waste of time to make another friend in life. Don’t be that guy who ignores her because she said no to coffee. If your friendship was so conditional on them falling for you and not actually wanting to make a genuine connection, then are you really that nice a person? And don’t whinge about them wasting your time. Like your time is any more precious than theirs. Relationships do develop from friendships. Don’t allow yourself to be used in a friendship but don’t let your pride shut it down.

 5) It get’s a bit lonely travelling alone.

Go on a long backpacking trip, and your friends will start to leave as they settle in cities or go back home to face responsibilities. Travelling alone can be rewarding but there are a lot of things about it that are hard.

I started my adult life with a whole lot of friends who were in a similar situation as me. We were all single or casually dating and an impromptu trip down south was just a juggle of work and we were off. Along the way my friends started pairing off and soon my single friends group grew very small. Trips away now had to factor in their partners and their children and became near impossible feats. With nearly all of my close friends at the moment either married or in serious relationships it can seem very much like I am travelling alone.

 I am so grateful that I have formed friendships with people who have room in their lives for me despite their marital status. Some haven’t and that’s okay. I have accepted that and moved on to people who do. I also have, along the way found new friends that are single who I can form deep bonds with and walk along side of. My housemate is one of these people. We can talk about our theories on “Soul Mates” and “The One” and all the laughable moments about knowing when to approach someone, when to wait, when to hope for something and when to move on. It’s really important to not do this life alone.

What does stopping backpacking look like in this example? It’s forming new friendships when the old ones fall away. It’s establishing new types of normal when your friends settle down.

 

So what am I really saying? I guess I’m saying that life is a journey but you do need to put down roots, make more permanent life choices, redefine your friendships as the evolve, don’t do this thing alone and get rid of you heavy burdens and most importantly, stop being weird.

 

Shannon

Xxx

*In some way I have done every one of these weird things (except the calling out thing) because I am also weird and can be anxious and socially awkward. I’m particularly weird around guys I like so I get it. It’s so hard to just be the normal you who is on the inside because the fear to perform becomes so difficult you’re your inner dialogue goes crazy. so what I am saying is focus on being friends first.

Also, it is really important to let your inner freak flag fly.

What’s the difference between freak flag and weirdo? Weirdos make us feel awkward, threatened and unsafe. Freaks make us think “gee, I wish I had the guts to truly be myself like that hero”.

So be a freak but try not to be weird. And never smell. Ever

The Single Factor

The Single Factor

"A couple of nights ago I tried to write a blog post on the great things about being single. I could only come up with one point. I felt so depressed that I watched an entire season of Friends," I confided to my friend Bekah over a cup of peppermint tea. 

"What was the one thing?" My friend asked. 

"I get to watch whatever I want on TV" I replied. 

Bekah is my go-to girl for all things deep and any single moments. She was a "Forever Single" girl that made it to the other side. She married the man of her dreams at 29 and is living the wedded bliss life in constant honeymoon status for the last 4 years. She dated for a year and was engaged for a year so really she hasn't been single for 6 years. But still she is my girl. She doesn't outwardly roll her eyes when I lament about things for the millionth time. She's a married woman who understands the singlehood journey. 

"Here's the thing Bek, I don't want to write about just being single because I'm more then that. It's just a single factor in my life. You understand that right?"  

"Write about that then," she said. 

"I kinda thought I would write about being single when I'm not. Like a memoir." I pause. "But to be honest I wouldn't read that as a single person."

Bek didn't say much. She has the special gift of knowing when to not say anything.  I have suddenly begun to feel very uncomfortable. I know what I have to do now. 

***************************************************************

So here it is. It's time to write about something I feel very vulnerable about. THE SINGLE FACTOR. 

I'm trying to write something that is not cynical or pitiful. If you are getting those vibes from me or for me then this article is not for you*. Move on over and read my post about icing cake. I'm attempting to be honest here however, I do make self deprecating jokes, this is just me (and my coping mechanisms.)  

But here is the thing. There are just moments where the single factor becomes extremely frustrating. Here's a list of a few moments/thoughts I've had recently: 

1. The IKEA factor. Sometimes when I shop at IKEA, I decide on the spur of the moment to buy a large furniture item. This involves me desperately looking for staff and then giving up and trying to nudge the large item on to a moving trolley without dropping it on my toes. The said item is awkwardly wheeled over to the cash register where, once payed for, I navigate it on to the escalator (where I hope that someone will hold the doors open for me). Once outside I have to beg a nice looking family to look after the item while I go find my car. I then have to attempt to reverse park, a skill i have not yet mastered. I then have to find someone to help me load the furniture in to the car. Once home, I have to get someone to help me unload the item that I now intensely hate. Putting it together is not an issue, I pride myself on being the flat pack queen but sometimes you need two people to put it together ** 
2. The Gift Factor. If I attend a couple's party/ engagement/ wedding I have to buy a whole gift. If I invite a couple to my party why do they only buy one between them? And don't even get me started on the subject if they are not living together! It's basic economics guys! 
3. The Solo Man Factor. It's sometimes really hard to "put yourself out there" because it means showing up alone to things week after week. It's hard to walk into a room and not have an anchor person that you can bounce back to if you feel insecure or can't find anyone to talk to. I'm an extroverted introvert so sometimes I am really confident and can talk to anybody but other times I completely fail at the whole having a conversation thing and this can make my outings very challenging. The drive home can be equally painful, it's just nice to have a person to debrief with. 

It's not big things like loneliness or feelings of inadequacies or wanting someone to love that get to me like you may think. I don't feel embarrassed by my current status or feel any shame or grief.  These things are taken care for by my relationship with a very real and close God who fulfils the needs of my heart.

“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.    Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.You will forget the shame of your youth    and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband—    the Lord Almighty is his name—" Isaiah 54

I truly feel that God is my provider and my protector and my needs are met emotionally. Its the practical things that get annoying. I have a million friends who are married and/or have kids and they can also say the same things about their lives, it's the little things that drive them crazy too. Especially when "the little thing" has drawn on the brand new couch. I know that this feeling of dissatisfaction is not something singles bare alone, rather we carry a different strain of the same disease. an inability to not be content in the moment. 

There are a million amazing things about being a singleton too (yes, i did think of some more). 

1. The Bed Factor. Your bed belongs completely to you. You can sleep in it whenever and however you like. Nobody except your alarm clock can make you leave it and an alarm clock is far more flexible with snooze mode then a two year old or a snoring partner. 
2. The Time Factor. You don't have to answer to anyone. You tell no one when you are leaving, where you are going or when you will be home. You don't even have to come home if you don't want to. Your time belongs entirely to yourself (except maybe your boss)
3. The Other Ikea Factor. You get to chose the furniture you want from IKEA. This is why I have the girliest bed in the world. 

Here's the crux of what I am saying. I am not worse off than anyone in a relationship. I am not better either. We are actually on an even playing field with different challenges. It's not a race. And if it was, you are not further ahead than me because you have a partner or children. We are all heading to the same direction at the same time.My journey is different to yours. But it's not unfulfilled. I am just still learning how to be content in this season, no matter how long it will last. Paul writes a sentence in the bible that inspires me to live this moment right now in joy and contentment. 

Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me  Philippians 4:11-13

With the one who strengthens me also promising to protect and guide me, how can I possibly not be content? I just need to remind myself sometimes.

Why don't you tell me about something small that makes you love the season you are in now? Let's embrace the positives yo!

Love 

Shannon
xxx



* Please do not post a "Someday you will find someone" comment. That is the exact opposite of the intention of this post. Comments like "You go girl" and "Giiiirl a man would be lucky to have yoooou" are better. Comments like 'Damn Shan, you are so witty and articulate and I'm so glad life is good" are best. 

** Gents, I think I have just discovered a perfect way to meet the love of your life. Go and stand in the heavy flat pack furniture section of Ikea. Ask ladies who seem puzzled if they would like help. Offer to wait with their furniture while they get the car. Offer to have a flat pack building party over a glass of wine and chinese food. If you don't come across as a weirdo, pervy, thief then you are in with a shot! P.S You're welcome. 
Let me know if you want me to hit you up next time I'm at IKEA ;)

A Scandi (less) Life

This year I am trying on a simple life. A Scandi-Life. 

I have long been obsessed with Scandinavian Design. 

"Scandinavian design is a term to represent a design movement characterised by simplicity, minimalism and functionality"- My mate Wiki

I love the clean white lines, the textures that create the warmth and sense of peace it evokes. The idea that less is more. That beauty isn't in stuff but in the space around it too. The best part about Scandi style is it encourages repurposed objects and the idea of affordability in design (IKEA anyone?)

When I started my cake business I wanted to have the same philosophy, simple designs with the functionality of being able to eat it. (okay, I will admit that my cakes aren't all functional...you can't eat the flowers). but that was the original idea....

 

psst...find my cakes at @scandicakes on Instagram.

The thing is, the more I have studied this design theory, the more I've realised how much my life is not Scandi. My life is layers upon layers of complications. I make it even more complicated by having a consumerist lifestyle where I collect clutter and put value on material things. I buy things I won't use to sit on a shelf yet I fail to spend money on quality things I could use again and again. I over complicate simple tasks like getting ready in the morning and I fail to see value in practical things that will bring quality to my whole life (Exercise, I'm talking about you buddy). So I've decided to put myself on a complication detox. 

" A Simple life is not seeing how little we can get by with - that's poverty - but how efficiently we can put first things first... when you are clear about your purpose and your priorities, you can painlessly discard whatever does not support these, whether it's clutter in your cabinets or commitments on your calendar" Victoria Moran

My 3 step plan to a Scandi- life. 

1. Simplicity

2. Functionality

3. Affordability

1. Simplicity/minimalism- 

Simple foods- If I'm going to uncomplicate my life, then I need to uncomplicate my body. I'm a big believer in eating the way our grandparents or great grandparents ate. 

Food shouldn't come in a box through a hole in the wall. It shouldn't be made from 10 or more ingredients mixed together with anti-caking agents and additives and preservatives. It should come looking the same way it did when it was sent from the farm, or picked from the garden. fresh and clean. 

I believe this but do I live it? No! My busy life means that I have no time to shop or cook. so instead of a healthy trip down to the farmers market it's a shameful trip to Macca's for a burger I don't even like, chips that a cold and a black fizzy drink of death. This has to change. 

I pledge to cook my food from scratch and prep so I'm not making hasty decisions fuelled by the hunger monster.

2. Functionality- 

What have I been designed for? What is my purpose? Do my actions serve a purpose? Am I pursuing my purpose? Heavy questions right? Let me break it down for you.
Have you ever spent the whole day trying to complete a task and feel at the end of the day that you have made no traction at all.? It can be such a disheartening thing to see the sun is starting to set and there is no more daylight hours to get the job done. 
Imagine this is your life... oh wait, it's mine. When I have spent the day at work doing other people's jobs or fussing around with the small things that really don't matter, time is taken away from me doing what my purpose for being there is. It has caused me to lose my functionality. 
It's the same with life. If I waste too much time on things that don't matter, like catching up to the last season of Greys Anatomy or surfing You Tube, then I have no precious time to do what I am called for. 
I'm still figuring out my whole purpose, and I think that is sort of the meaning of life.... to always be figuring it out... but this is what I know my purpose is so far: 

• To create. I have this consistent need in me to create something out of the little I have. This means that is order to function at my best I need to spend time honing my skills in cake decorating, writing, cooking, and painting etc... To put into the physical what is swimming around in my imagination. 
• To worship God and to lead others into his presence. This means it is my job to work on my craft, to attend practices and to spend time with God to remain fresh.
• To love on people. This means that I need to make people a priority in my life. I have neglected some friends in the worst way because of my constant business of meaningless tasks. 

I will ask myself this: Does it serve a purpose? Is it my purpose and calling? Then no, I don't need to do it. 

I pledge to cut down on meaningless empty tasks and instead fill my life with purpose and functionality. 

3. Affordability-

My parents and my brothers will a test to the fact that I am the greatest spender in the world and the worlds worst saver. 

When I was about 17 my parents went away on holiday leaving me and my 2 brothers to fend for ourselves for a week. I was given the money for groceries and a list of what to buy for meals that week. I prided myself on being a great bargain shopper and was very able to purchase what was needed with $50 spare. A rational person might stop there, take the money home for emergency pizza deliveries or even split up the proceeds with the brothers. Not this spendy little spender. I took out my calendar and went straight to the junk food aisle where I calculated to the dollar every last piece of chocolate, chips and the biggest bucket of ice-cream you ever did see. I was unprepared to leave the shop without every last dollar being spent. 

And this has been my life pattern for the last 15 years. Spend like its the apocalypse and zombies are allergic to icecream!!!!

I can't believe that little ol' me has somewhat turned this terrible pattern around to find myself debt free and on my way to buying a house. After signing away my name for thousands and thousands of dollars for what is essentially brick, mortar on top of a sandpit, I'm starting to realise the value in the big spend rather then the millions of little things spend. 

This year I pledge to buy only things I need to function. I pledge to save and to live an affordable life. (Lord help me) 

"A pretentious, showy life is an empty life; a plain and simple life is full of life" -Proverbs 13: 7 The Message - The Bible. 

What is your plan for a Scandi-life?