Stop the Rain: 6 steps to battling the storms of life

It was a cold and wet Sunday afternoon as I drove my friend's little girl home from church. Tahlia, 4 years old, was chatting away as usual and I was half listening to her and concentrating on the difficult driving conditions. 

As the rain grew heavier and heavier, I came to a stretch in the road where you could usually see the ocean over the dunes. Today you couldn't even see the scrubs along the roadside. Unprotected from the full force of the ocean, the car started to shake and sway in the wind. I was trying to slow down carefully, aware that now, not only could I not see the bonnet of my car but I also couldn't see the cars around me. A thick sheet of water was falling on my car and I was terrified. 

I reached my hand behind me to hold the now quiet Tahlia's hand.

"Thalia," I yelled above the deafening pelt of rain, "We are going to pray."

Thalia gripped onto my hand and I called out in a loud voice. 

"God, please stop the rain!" 

The very second the last word left my mouth, the rain stopped. 

It didn't die down and come to a stop, it just stopped. It was as if a tap was turned off. As if a kink had been made in the hose of a sprinkler. 

And suddenly there was silence. No more pelting of rain, no howling wind, just perfect silence. 

"God stopped the rain! God stopped the rain!" shouted Thalia. I couldn't talk. I drove in silent awe at the crazy thing that had just occurred. 

The rest of the 15 minute drive home not a single drop of water landed on my windshield. The grey sky held every bit of rain in its dark, ominous clouds and I didn't see a single tree bending in the breeze. 

We pulled up outside the house and I got out and helped Thalia out of her seat. We walked inside and just as we walked under the cover of the garage, the sky's opened up once more. 

"God, stop the rain! God stop the rain!" Thalia cried out at the window for the rest of the day. She was sure He would do it again. He didn't, at least not that day. For weeks after, with the slightest indicators of condensation, Thalia would cry out to ask God to stop the rain. She had witnessed a miracle and she wasn't going to forget it.

I was reminded of this moment in my life that happened about 10 years ago last Sunday as I was singing a song at church. 

"Though the storms may rage

They still know Your Name"

Storms

Storms are a part of life. Some people love storms. They will get excited when they hear thunder and settle down for a cozy night in. Others hate storms. They cringe at the flash of lightning and groan about their washing on the line. I don't really care one way or another about the weather except when I am inconvenienced. I don't want to get my hair wet if I go out, I don't want to wait under shelter, I don't want to have to remember an umbrella and I really don't want to have an accident on the roads. 

Every once in awhile there is a massive storm that comes in and tears the place apart. The great storm of 2010 in Perth is one of those occasions. If you lived in Perth then, you can tell me exactly where you were when it hit, what damage it caused to your property and the inconvenience it caused to you and your family. That storm sucked! I had $18,000 worth of damage to my almost brand new $20,000 car (how bummed was I to not get it written off so i could get a new one?).

We often refer to hard periods of time in our lives as storms. Some storms are short and quick and more of an inconvenience. Some are bigger and can be stressful at the time but all is well in the end. Others, like the great storm of 2010 are massive, cause unprecedented damage and are permanently remembered as a major moment in your life.

So what do we do when we are caught in a storm?

1. We can carry on until we get through it. 

Some storms can be ridden out. Some, we just need to buckle down, believe that it won't last forever and move on. I could have just continued to drive home, but my gut and experience told me that this wasn't a normal storm. 

2. We remember that we don't cause storms. 

It's not our fault that their is crazy weather going on. You don't have mutant superpowers. So stop looking for meaning in a storm. It's not time to play the blame game. When illness hits or we find life to be stressful we often think "why". Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this? Guys it's weather. It happens to all of us in some shape or form. 

3. Pull over and wait it out, seek shelter. 

Sometimes you have to pull over to the side of the road and wait. Last year my job was killing me. I wasn't sleeping at night, I was constantly stressing and I began to feel anxious about everything I was responsible for in the world. So I pulled over and decided to wait it out. This meant that I stopped my side business of baking, I stopped going to things that weren't necessary and I focussed on waiting it out. (Of course I started looking for new work too, if the boat is sinking, it's time to get on a new one) 

4. Cry out for help. 

Maybe this should be first point. Here's the deal, the bible is so full of scriptures about God hushing the storms. 

“Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven.”Psalm‬ ‭107:28-30‬ ‭

 Our desired haven? Does that mean he cares about where we want to go? Does that mean he cares about giving us peace on our journey?  I think we think he doesn't care about us enough to stop it. We know he loves us, but it's easy to detach and think about it as a far away, broad stroke of the brush kind of love. The love that covers a multitude of sins can't be the same love that cares about the details can it? How can my cry for help be considered the same as someone who has "real" issues? I keep comparing my storm with someone else's storm and I feel like mine is dumb and little and not worth praying about. 

5. Trust that HE commands the waves and wind and have peace. 

In Matthew, Mark and Luke there is a story of Jesus on a boat in the middle of the storm. This dude is so chill that he's asleep! He has to be woken up to be asked to stop the storm. With a simple word the waves and wind settled. In the midst of it all we should remember that unless God is concerned, we shouldn't be. He's got it. We spend so much time worrying about the outcome that we waste our lives worrying about things that God is in command of. 

“The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,”‭‭Nahum‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

A couple of months ago at church I was very distressed. Life was hard, work was very hard. 

"God, I just don't think you care about this," I cried out to God. "You don't care where I work or what the conditions are like. You don't care who I will marry or if I will have a family. As long as I serve you, I don't think you care. Im wanting a job that I wake up for in the morning happy to get out of bed for. I'm wanting to meet someone who lights a spark in me but I think you are pushing me to settle for mediocrity, just get what I get. You don't care about the details. You just don't care." This wasn't the first time I had said this silently to myself, possibly not the first time I had said it to God either. 

In the loudness of the music playing through the speakers, I heard a voice inside. Through the noise of the storm that raged within, a voice cried out. 

"I care the most, I care the most!" My God was yelling through the midst of the storm. "I care the most"

“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭55:22‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

6. Have faith in the restorer to fix what has been damaged

I felt prompted to write a list on my phone of what i needed out of a new job. The list was simple: 

• More flexibility in my conditions 
• Work that worked around my lifestyle (remember that I had given up a lot of life for my previous job) 
• Bosses that cared
• No uniform 
• Same pay and perks from my previous job

Every single thing on my list was met. God demonstrated that He cared. That He cared about the details. That He cared the most. 

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭26:3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

SO I guess what I'm trying to say is this: 

Storms they are coming whether we want them to or not. Batten down the hatches and hold on. But when it get's tough, remember that you know the one who commands the waves and wind. He cares about you and what you are going through. He cares the most. 

Soulmates don't exist.

Boom! Did I just blow your mind? 

When I was in year 3 I entered a story book competition. I had to write a story and then draw pictures with the hopes that I would win the grand prize of having it published. My teacher was very eager for me to enter because she said she loved my stories and pictures. 

I only wrote about one thing. I only drew one thing. I'm sort of embarrassed that I'm even sharing this... Please don't think less of me...

I wrote love stories about princes and princesses. All my princesses were blonde with freckles. All my princes had horses. 

I was very disappointed to learn that I did not with that nationally run prize and have my story sent to the masses. I was surprised because I had written the ultimate love story. I can't remember what the story was but if I do I will be sure to try and resubmit it to some publishers. 

You see, I had grown up in the golden era of Disney princesses and wanted to be a part of that world (pun intended). 

Girl stole my life. 

Okay, enough about my princess complex. Even today I speak to single girls, young and old and there is one thread that seems to unite most of them. The hope of the happily-ever-after. For their own love story to start. To meet their soul mate. Guys too, they may have acted a little more macho about it and talk about the teenage mutant ninja turtles and He-man but I know, (I have brothers) that they snuck in and watched their sister's movies dreaming to meet their soulmates or at least someone who cooks like their mum.

This story is encouraged by well meaning folk. Parents, aunts, uncles, strangers on the bus often have comments like 
"Don't worry, he's out there" 
"The One will find you when you least expect it" 
"Your soul mate is searching for you too". 
I love my friends who say that, who offer hope and believe the best. But... I'm sorry, stop the presses... Soulmates don't exist. 

Ugh sorry if that was a punch in the gut. That felt sickening to write. I still don't want to admit it. Because to admit that there is no soulmate for me leaves me with the thought "If I want to find a life partner I'm going to have work at it" and those who know me well know that I really do hate work. 

Greek philosopher Plato was the person who introduced the world to the concepts of soul mates. According to Greek mythology some people were born with four legs and four arms and Zeus split them in two. They now and forevermore wander the world looking for each other never feeling complete. 

There are so many holes in this concept yet we swallow this philosophy hook line and sinker never questioning its very foundation. In fact people get married to who they suppose is their soul mate only to find that they don't fulfil them for the long term and they begin to see all the parts of their life where they are left incomplete. What is the alternative? Living with holes simply will not do. If that person does not completely fit into your life then they simply aren't the one. Having a soulmate means that you don't have to work to keep a relationship. It means it's either meant to be or not. Why not divorce that person and carry on? After all, if that person fails then your soul mate must be still out there right? Is he?

"Okay Shannon, I get your point, so tell me, how is this soul mate theory not true? 

Firstly the guy credited in inventing or certainly perpetuating this myth believed in Zeus and believed we were created with four arms and four legs. If this doesn't discredit him, how about the fact that it was only some humans created this way, not all. What if you were one of the ones who missed out? No Soulmate for you! Why? You weren't born a mutant.

What if your soulmate dies before you meet them? Or a year into your marriage? Are you stuffed for life because your soulmate is gone? What if your soul mate is a mega loser with no job, no ambition and a foul temper? There are mega losers out there, someone has to match them, maybe that's your lot in life? What if your soulmate is married to someone else? 

What about choice? I like to have a choice in what outfit I wear, what house I buy, how I wear my hair, why would I get no choice in a life partner? 

If there is no soul mates then what? What is the actual point? What actually is out there? 

I love the phrase we often refer to in our singledom to talk about the person we will marry and spend the rest of our lives with: The One. I like the idea of The One immensely. It's so romantic really. To think that there is this One person out there. It's beautiful. however, if we are not careful, The One can be used simultaneously with the concept of Soul Mate. 

But wait... What if you've already been married though? Or what if your first partner dies? Can you call a second person The One if you called the first person The One? Was the second person really The One and the first the one before The One? This is so confusing! 

When I'm confused about anything I turn to the bible to make sense of the world. 

“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.””‭‭Mark‬ ‭10:7-9 

This is amazing. This scripture is written many times in the bible about two becoming one. Reminds me of a Spice Girls song. 

It seems that God does have an answer for "The One" issue. The person you marry is one whole person and you are one whole person. Together, through the divine mathematics of love and God, you don't become two, you become The One together. You don't meet The One, you become The One. 

You don't fulfil every need for them and they don't fulfil your every need. Instead you compliment each other and bring out as much as you can for each other. You do have to work hard to meet your partner's needs. Because you love them, you sacrifice for them and they sacrifice for you. There will be gaps, he doesn't Jerry McGuire you. Only God can fill the spaces in between. I like to think of Him as the No More Gaps that sticks you two together. 

I love how the bible describes this process in the follow passage, that is quite often used in wedding readings. 

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:9-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

God is all for marriage. He loves it, supports it and blesses it. A cord of three strands not two? This speaks of God being part of your relationship. The third stand that strengthens you. 

"Okay so we have that sorted. We don't have a soulmate, The One is actually me plus partner plus God. That's lovely. But I'm single. Am I ever going to get married? Does God actually have a plan to get me with a single person that is even remotely kissable? If nobody is coming to find me, if there is no prince riding by then how is this even going to happen" I hear you say. 

Firstly calm down. 

Secondly, this bit is tricky, my housemate and I have been debating this for days. It's the case of fate versus choice. Can God truly give us freedom of choice and still plan for us to meet someone? Is it all up to us? 

Well, that is a huge topic on its own. This article seems to some up some thoughts rather well, at least far better than I would. http://www.gotquestions.org/fate-destiny.html

What do you think about all this? Were you destined to meet your partner? What roles do destiny, choice and chance have to play in your life? What about the "I knew i had met my wife" factor or the "I had a dream he was my husband"? My housemate reckons that it's a case of the exception not the rule in these scenarios. 
I'm not so sure. My romantic heart still likes to believe that God is the ultimate matchmaker. Honestly, I still am not entirely sure how it works. Is anybody? 

 Love Shannon 
xxx

The problem with hope

The Problem With Hope

I have a love hate relationship with hope. 

Sometimes I just hate it. I hate what it does to me. It creates a stirring in my heart and a lightness in my step. It causes me to believe in what is barely possible. It makes my heart soar when I should stay grounded in the facts. And this makes me furious. 

Furious because if my hope is dashed, then I have so much further to fall. Hope has the ability to break my heart. I hate giving power to anything that could cause so much pain. Yet I do it again and again. 

I've had seasons where I have lived off the drug of new found hope. It happens in a instance, a look or a moment with the right kind of guy and I'm there. Living in hope that this could be it. This could be my season to love and be loved. (I'm not talking about the thing other girls do where they plan the wedding and wonder what their babies will look like the moment they meet. That's a blog post for another day) I'm just talking about the quickened heart beat and the thought of "Hello, this one's not a complete mutant".* 

I am also talking about the kind of hope I have for my future. The hope to have the family and the house and the lifestyle I dream of. The hope I am called into a profession that will change the world and fulfill my every desire. 

And so I fly high. Hope becomes my drug of choice. The problem with highs is obvious. What comes up must come down right? The crash and pain from hopes dashed is a pain like no other. 

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Prov 13:12

Hope deferred has made me sick before. Physically sick. Talk to anyone who's been through a hard break up and they may say the same thing. I became so run down and lost any desire to move or  participate in the world. I had a medical illness and was checked for all sorts of diseases with blood tests and scans. It was serious business. 

I am happy to say that I have moved past this and I'm healthy with a busy social life and a zest and drive for life. But I wonder looking back why Paul would say...

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor 13:13

Why hope? When hope can tear the soul and break the heart? Why would it hold value right along side faith and love? Isn't faith enough? The bible has a lot to say about hope. 

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 41:30

"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. Psalm 33:20

Just like faith, hope has to have a purpose and direction. We are not supposed to hope in our future or our loved ones. We are not supposed to put our hope in our career or our marriage. We are supposed to put our hope in the LORD. 

When the scripture uses the word LORD it is talking about someone who is in charge. Someone who is sovereign over us. Someone we chose to put in control. 

So if I put my hope in a sovereign LORD I am saying "I trust YOU with my future my hope is YOU having it all worked out in YOU having the best possible path for me. My hope and trust is in YOUR timing." 

What does God do in return? He honours us with strength, with flight, with help and protection. When we put our hope in God we won't get weary. Our days aren't good or bad based on our situation or what we can see in the real world. What goes up doesn't necessarily have to go down when the creator is holding it in his hands. 

Waiting in hope is frustrating. It's like a really long flight on a squashy plane. You know you are going somewhere, you know that it's gonna be awesome. The pilot has promised you won't miss out because you are arriving later then other people. But the scenery has been the same for the last 5 hours (or 32 years), the air feels stale and there is a baby crying**. It's a feeling of restlessness and the need to stretch your legs. 

Hope is  believing that your are destined to arrive at some point. Faith is knowing the plane will stay in the air even though you don't understand the law of aerodynamics. And love... The kind of love I'm hoping for... That's worth the wait.... After all, love is the greatest!

Share with me your thoughts on this, is anyone brave enough to admit they've been through something similar? 

xxx

Shannon

* I do not wish to bring offence to the mutant community. I for one am a big advocate for the The X Men and everything it stands for. I would be very happy to meet and fall in love with Cyclops or Wolverine. I am of course talking about Toad and other brotherhood of evil mutants that sometimes rear their heads at Young Christian Single events for the over 30's (you know what i'm talking about) 

** It's probably one of your friends kids that you are babysitting because you don't have a date on Saturday night